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Jimmy's
Smile
by Susan Carney
 It
was a big day for Jimmy, the first grandchild. On this special day our entire
family huddled in the bathroom to bathe and dress him. As soon as my sister,
Anne, had him in his little white suit she held him up to look at himself in the
mirror. As if this were his cue, Jimmy looked at the baby in the mirror and
broke out into a grin from ear to ear. The smile was a new skill he had just
acquired in this, his third month of life, and something we had attempted to
elicit from him all day. He was ready to smile now, and I, his proud Godmother,
had my camera ready and caught this Kodak moment. How appropriate he should save
this grin for the moment his mom held him up and said, "Ready for your Baptism,
Jimmy!"
I wondered how my sister was feeling about this event. It had been a while since
she had been to church. She was raised a Catholic, but lapsed a bit in
practicing her faith in college. Her husband is Episcopalian, and it had been a
while since he, too, had been in a church. It wasn't that either one had stopped
believing in God; there was no "conscious decision" to stop going to church. It
was more a factor of their busy lives. They both worked long days, coming home
at 8:00 p.m. after a 1 ½ hour commute. Sunday was sacred time all right, sacred
sleep time! I could appreciate Anne's situation; it is the situation of many
working couples today. Yet I kept looking at Jimmy and thinking, "I wonder when
his next trip to church will be?"
Perhaps it will be when he makes first Holy Communion. Will that day be special
even if he hasn't witnessed adults going to communion each week and hasn't
anticipated the event? Will he understand what it means to be part of the Body
of Christ even if he hasn't celebrated with them before? Would more years pass
until his next trip to church, when he goes to receive the sacrament of
Confirmation? So many teenagers I work with in my parish Confirmation program
say they and their families never go to church. They sit back in their chairs
during Confirmation meetings, arms folded across their chests, staring at me as
if to say, "I don't see value in any of this." I guess I can't blame them. How
can they possibly understand the value of faith when they haven't had theirs
nurtured? How can they know the peace that a relationship with Jesus brings if
they have never experienced it? Yet, I know they hunger. As a high school
teacher, teens come to me with problems ranging from boyfriend breakups and
fights at home, to anorexia and even thoughts of suicide. Kids have voids that
need to be filled just like adults. Jesus said, "Let the children come to me,"
but to whom will they go to fill those voids if
they don't know Him?
I had to remind myself to slow down a bit. Jimmy is only 3 months old after all.
He doesn't really have "problems" yet, at least no problem that a bottle and a
dry diaper can't cure. Jimmy will grow up and make his own choices, right? If he
wants to go to church when he is older he will go, with or without his parents.
Unfortunately, I knew this was not true. Our values are shaped by our parents.
Every time my mother made me sit down and do my homework before going out to
play, I learned that education was important. Every time relatives came to visit
and I was told to go and put on a nice dress, I learned that family was
important. Will Jimmy value this gift he is being given today if it is never
nurtured? If he only attends church when it is time to receive a new sacrament,
will this gift become less and less important to him?
These were my thoughts during the Baptism and the Baptism party. When my sister
and I were alone after the party I voiced these thoughts to her. Thankfully they
weren't received as the words of "meddling big sister." She saw that my
motivation for speaking was love for Jimmy, and I am sure her deep love for her
son is why she listened. "You know, Anne," I told her, "no alarm sounded as you
walked through the doors of church today. You are always welcomed back. You can
go home again."
My sister and her family went to mass together the next Sunday, and have been
going each week for the past two months. They are even starting to sound like
"old time regulars." My sister told me that last week the old couple "that
always sits in the pew behind them" plays with Jimmy and he doesn't get noisy or
cry during mass. They have even started a little tradition of going out to
breakfast together after church.
It is amazing how the smile of a small child can make us rearrange our lives.
Next time I go to mass with Jimmy I hope he still grins from ear to ear. I can't
help but think of God smiling down on them too. Smiling as he sees all of his
children come home.
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