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Feed My
Lambs
by Susan Carney
 In recent months
I have become educated on the sad conditions of children in Third World
countries. I saw a video tape of a baby boy who lived in an orphanage in
Vladivostok, Russia. The people in this far region of Siberia have very little
because they are dependent on the rest of the country. The children in the
orphanage have even less. The little boy in the videotape was exactly one year
old, and to my layman's eyes he seemed attentive and able to interact. A doctor
explained, however, that while this 12-month-old was able to do many things, he
was only functioning at the level of development of a four-month-old child. The
doctor added that this child was malnourished, grossly neglected and probably
had never been out in the sunlight. The doctor used a term to describe his
condition: "failure to thrive." He had simply stopped growing, physically and
emotionally, due to lack of food, stimulation and love.
Thankfully, this heartbreaking condition is not widely seen here at home. I look
around the town of River Edge and see parents working very hard to provide their
children with everything: food, clothes and experiences. This is a town of
parents who rush from bus and train stations eager to get home to see their
children's baseball games. This is a town of moms in minivans who shuttle their
children from school to soccer practice to friends' houses. This is a town of
men and women who work hard all day to ensure that their children will grow to
their fullest potential.
But despite their efforts, do their children still go hungry in another way? Is
there an area of their children's development experiencing "failure to thrive"?
Unfortunately, I have seen evidence of this in some children here in River Edge.
Having worked with the youth of our parish in various capacities for six years
now, I see that our kids are often given everything to help their physical and
material well-being, while their spiritual lives go hungry. For example, on a
recent trip to Sacred Heart Soup Kitchen in Jersey City I took a group of 8th
graders upstairs to tour this beautiful church. As we toured the church I
explained to them what the tabernacle is, why there were certain symbols
associated with the church's shrine to St. Jude, what a relic is, and the
meaning behind other parts of the church. Because these were teenagers I kept
reminding myself, "Don't turn into the church lady here, they'll tune you out!"
But they surprised me with attentive listening and constant questions. It was
clear that they were hungry to know more. When I have taken teenagers on tours
of our own church, many demonstrate that they are lacking a lot of basic
knowledge of our faith.
Even in the formal prayers of the church they seem to have missed an education.
At a recent Youth Group meeting, we had a prayer service and the paper we were
following said in one section, "All: The Lord's Prayer." When the kids got to
this part of the service they didn't realize that this meant we were all to
recite the "Our Father," and they all said in unison, "The Lord's Prayer," and
then looked at each other in a state of confusion because they didn't understand
why they were directed to say that. It is at times like these when I think that the diagnosis "failure
to thrive" accurately describes their spiritual development.
Certainly we could blame their CCD
teachers, but I'm not sure the fault lies there. As a teacher I know that
students pay attention to information only if it is relevant to their lives.
(Believe me! Each year I realized this as I tried to convince my 11th graders
that knowing the story Beowulf was somehow vital to their future well-
being!) The need for relevance is true in all classrooms, especially CCD class.
If students aren't practicing their faith by attending church regularly, or
witnessing the importance of faith in the home, they are not going to be very
interested or attentive in a CCD class.
A dinner at my sister-in-law's house a month ago reminded me of just how key
parents are in developing their children's faith. My sister-in-law and her
husband had just finished putting food on the table and putting their
14-month-old son, Bobby, in his high chair. Bobby was happily pounding the tray
in front of him with a spoon as we began to say grace. As soon as Bobby noticed
us making the sign of the cross he put his spoon down, put his hands together
and got very quiet. When we finished, my sister-in-law explained that she and
her husband never told him what to do, they just said grace together every night
and Bobby had absorbed the concept. Every night when he sees them pray together,
he puts his hands together and "says grace" too. True to the Irish proverb:
"What the child sees, the child does. What the child does, the child is."
This incident made me realize that, in addition to all the food and love we
provide our children, parents have a responsibility to also nurture their souls.
By their example, my sister-in-law and her husband have begun to provide their
son with everything to help him thrive physically and spiritually. The more they
give their son the opportunity to practice his faith, the more it will grow.
This is the case with all children. Preparing your child for First Holy
Communion plants the seed for further spiritual development; but no seed grows
without water. After First Holy Communion, the growth of a child's spiritual
life depends on whether it is fed. Each time we bring them back to the Lord's
table we give their faith the opportunity to thrive.
We feed our children so they will be healthy and strong. We teach them so they
will develop into people who can sustain themselves. We also must bring our
children to mass because, as Jesus tells us, "No one who comes to me shall ever
be hungry, no one who believes in me shall ever thirst." Jesus ultimately
promises, "Whoever eats this bread shall live forever." Quite the opposite of
spiritual "failure to thrive," Jesus gives our children fullness of life.
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